8 Steps to Help Your Elderly Parent Downsize as They Transition to a New Living Arrangement

Helping your elderly parent transition to a new living facility can be exciting, but also bittersweet. Your parent or aging loved one might feel scared, overwhelmed, or even resistant to the idea of downsizing. As a caregiver or family member, it's important to approach this process with empathy and understanding.

Whether your loved one is moving into an assisted living facility or a Residential Care Facility for the Elderly (RCFE), there are many ways you can make the transition easier. Here are some tips for helping your elderly parent downsize as they prepare to transition into a new living arrangement, so they feel valued, supported, and comfortable throughout the process.

1. Start Early, Go Slowly

Downsizing can be a tough process both physically and emotionally. You'll want to avoid adding any additional stress to your elderly parents, so it's important to start early and go slowly. Give your loved one enough time to make decisions about what they want to keep and what they can let go of. This will also give them time to process their emotions and adjust to the idea of moving into a new living arrangement.

To make the process even easier, begin with low-sentimental areas like the garage, linen closet, basement, or junk areas. Remind your loved one that this is an opportunity to start with a clean slate, both literally and emotionally. After several months of this process, your loved one might be more willing to then tackle sentimental areas and objects.

2. Make It a Collaboration, Not a Takeover

Giving options and involving your loved one is always better than just coming in and taking over. Even if your ideas seem more practical or efficient, try to encourage your loved one to participate in the process and make decisions together. The more you can involve your parent and ask them questions in a caring and empathetic way, the more autonomy they will feel. Autonomy is critical for their well-being, but is often overlooked when decisions are being made in the healthcare setting.

Some questions you can use include:

• Which of these do you want to take with you?
• What do you believe is the most important item in this room?
• What do you think would make your living space more comfortable?

This collaborative approach can also help identify any underlying issues or concerns that your parent may have about downsizing. Perhaps they are worried about losing sentimental items or feeling like they are losing their independence. By involving them in the decision-making process, you can address these concerns and find solutions together.

3. Categorize and Sort

Sorting through a life's worth of items can be difficult. To help with the process, consider using the four-box method of sorting items into:

• Keep
• Donate
• Sell
• Trash

Any items that don't fit into this space can easily be put aside and revisited later. Using this method helps involve your loved one and keeps things in perspective.

4. Focus on the New Space

No two elderly living facilities are the same. Your loved one might be moving to a skilled nursing facility that has little room for personal items, but does offer 24/7 care. Or, they might be moving to a RCFE, which offers a more comfortable environment and ample room to keep their belongings.

The best RCFEs and living facilities will offer tours ahead of time for your loved one to explore. Use this as an opportunity to explore new rooms, get measurements, and make your loved one excited about the move. Help them visualize a new set-up with new furniture and make them feel comfortable about the changes.

5. Preserve Memories Creatively

Many mementos and memories can now be digitally saved, which is often better for overall longevity and safe-keeping. Consider taking the time to create a digital scrapbook, guide your loved one through the process of digitizing old photos and videos, or create a personalized memory book with pictures and stories of past adventures together.

Not only will this serve as a fun activity to do together, but it will also preserve cherished memories for years to come. Everything from learning Photoshop to making videos, to uploading and sharing are all great skills to learn and share with your loved one while helping them downsize.

6. Donate With Purpose

Donating can be difficult for anyone, but it can also bring joy when you know your donations are being used for a good cause. Ask your loved one if they have a charity they'd like to donate to, such as the VA, a church group, or the local Salvation Army. Giving them the option to choose where their donations go can make them feel empowered and involved in the process.

Remember that downsizing is not just about getting rid of stuff, it's also about finding new purposes for things and making a positive impact on others. Encouraging your loved one to donate with purpose can help them see the bigger picture and feel good about their downsizing decisions.

7. Hire Help if Needed

What if both you and your elderly loved one are unsure of what items they'll need? Or if the physical work of downsizing is too overwhelming? In these cases, it may be helpful to hire a professional for help. These professionals are trained to help seniors downsize and can provide valuable insight and support throughout the process. They can also assist with logistics like selling items, coordinating donations, and even helping with packing and moving.

Consider professionals like:

• Occupational therapists, who can help your loved one with mobility and recreational activities in their new space.
• Estate sale companies, who can help sell items that your loved one no longer needs or wants.
• Senior move managers, who specialize in helping seniors transition to a smaller living space and can assist with tasks like packing, organizing, and planning the layout of the new home.
• Movers and junk removal services, who can help with physical tasks like lifting and disposing of unwanted items.

When it comes to downsizing and moving as a senior, having a team of professionals on hand can greatly ease the process. Each of these pros brings unique skills and expertise that are essential in making the transition as smooth as possible.

8. Be Patient and Kind

It's okay to be frustrated and even experience feelings of sadness during the downsizing and moving process. It's a big change that can be emotionally taxing, especially for seniors who have lived in their home for many years. However, it's important to be patient with yourself and your loved ones during this time.

Remind your aging loved one that it's perfectly acceptable to take breaks and rest when needed. It's also important to be kind and understanding with each other as you navigate through this process together. Take this as an opportunity to reminisce on memories, make space for new ones, and prepare for the golden years ahead.

Learn More About Assisted Living in San Diego

We're here to help you or your loved one begin the next chapter of life and find pleasure and fulfillment in daily living. We can take care of the small stressful stuff and help you focus on health, well-being, and happiness. Get in touch to learn more about our assisted living services.

Mark Gladden is the Founder and CEO of Present Moments Senior Living, a cozy and comfortable family-run Board and Care in San Diego.  Mark is also a U.S. Veteran who has been serving the recovery community of San Diego for a decade. As Founder and CEO of Present Moments Senior Living, he has helped countless families access high-quality care for their aging loved ones. If you or an aging loved one is looking for compassionate assisted living in San Diego, call Present Moments Senior Living at  (442) 232-2824 or visit their website at https://presentmomentsseniorliving.com/